NATIONAL WEIRDNESS RADIO: Mark Byron brings the partial transcript of the bizarre Terry Gross Gene Simmons interview I overheard on Monday night. Simmons in the transcript comes off like an unfunny Jason Mewes, but on-air what struck me was his complete lack of a sense of humor. Come to think of it, that's the same thing that's always bugged me about Ayn Rand. Huh. So why is the lead singer of Kiss taking himself seriously now? Perhaps he's only telling the truth and the whole Kiss thing was a facade to bag chicks, and now that he's older and ma-toor he's rationalizing it with quasi-philosophical doodoo and a serious tone of voice --he talked almost elegantly, I noticed, of his desire for Terry Gross. Hey --psychobabble. Shnoogans.