GARDEN STATE PRIDE: Your New Jersey Nets and your New Jersey Devils are playing for the NBA Championship and the Stanley Cup. Two franchises with limited fan support because they play in an arena in the middle of nowhere. Two franchises that--I mean--I'm not even sure why they exist, except somebody must be making a buck off them; there's no crying need from us Jerseyites for them. Apathy is our credo, that whole valley of humility between two mountains of conceit thing. And yet, here we and they are. Wow.

Don't be fooled, though, whenever anybody says anything about New York on national broadcasts. These are Jersey teams--New York couldn't give a crap. Why do you think I hate the Knicks so much?