YOUR STATE OF BEER ADVERTISING REVIEW: It goes like this:

MILLER LITE: We have ads with a strong narrative drive (for commercials) and playful intelligence. The male desire for hot chicks is parodied and played up to at the same time. We're not afraid of alienating our (presumably) male audience by showing hot man-on-man action for the benefit of the ladies. Actual women appear in our ads.

BUD LITE: We make jokes wherein the male desire for hot chicks or cold beer gets him into crrrrazy situations. Think "Three Stooges"--not that there's anything wrong with that. Women exist only as the butt of jokes (like the fat lady in Marx Brothers movies, only hot) or to laugh at the guy when he is the butt of the joke. Animals inexplicably appear throughout our ads, since we're tying to hook 'em while they're young. No actual women--or animals--appear in our ads.

COORS LITE: We are the COORS. Your visual and biological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Thinking is futile. Analysis is futile. There is only images. There is only posturing. There is only having a good time. We are the COORS.

(No actual human beings appear in Coors ads.)