MY OWN PRIVATE MORGAN SPURLOCK: Yes, I am in possession of a sheet of Arby's coupons that expire at the end of the month--why do you ask? I don't think I'll suffer quite like Spurlock did, McDonald's being America's nastiest fast food franchise and all. Nor will I receive any notoriety, as no one is throwing bricks through the windows of the Paris Arby's. ("Know what they call curly fries in France? Les fries de curles.") But I will eat cheap for the rest of the month.

And that, oh Internet, is the first point I've had to make in weeks.