Tuesday, January 08, 2002

IT CAN WORK, I SWEAR: Jim at Unqualified Offerings dissects my proposed CFL-NFL merger:

But UO sees some problems. First, it foresees new entitlements, with the Lower 48 required to provide the Northern Acquisitions with defenses and running games. Second, and sadly, since UO actually likes Canadian-rules football, we have no room for them here. A CFL field is 30 yards longer than a US-rules "pitch," and about a dozen yards wider too. But the trend in US football stadia has been towards ever-increasing intimacy, with the stands built closer and closer to the field. There is no chance whatsoever, for instance, of fitting a CFL gridiron into the Redskins' Fedex Field.

See, what we do is preserve the CFL franchises as they are now with the CFL rules and everything, make them play by NFL rules on NFL fields and make NFL teams play by CFL rules on CFL fields. This won't happen so often, as the CFL will become the Canadian Football Conference and submit its champion to the NFL playoffs or we'll split it down the middle into AFC Canada and NFC Canada. NFL coaches will probably bitch about having to do things different when they go to CFL cities, but they'll get used to it. I mean, it's all football, right?

Besides, if one merged the CFL with the NFL, it practically requires an end-of-season championship between the leagues. Since NFL teams can play CFL style ball if they have to (viz. Saint Louis) and CFL teams couldn't stop an NFL-grade rushing offense with a wall of zambonis, it would be pretty brutal.

Well, if we have a Canadian Football Conference we can give the Grey Cup to whoever wins that. Or we can give the eventual NFL champions the Grey Cup, a far older and nicer-looking trophy than the old football-on-a-stick. Throughout all this, I am assuming that the old quotas on American players on CFL teams will be lifted on a fully merged NFL-CFL, so there won't be a huge level-of-play difference. My plan is FOOLPROOF. I think.

Then Jim wrote: "WARNING: The preceding item contains a snare for pedants! Spot it if you can..." I....I....I don't know what a pedant is.....

No comments: