TOUCH THERAPY: Forget Lasik, what you really need is a slap upside your head:

A light tap on the side of your head could one day restore your eyesight, believe scientists. The tap would tighten a band of artificial muscle wrapped round your eyeballs, changing their shape and bringing blurry images into focus. While the idea has a high 'yuk' factor, the people behind it are confident it will be a safe and effective way to improve vision.

Of course the headline was misleading --the tap is a button on the side of your head that activates an eyeball-stretching device that a surgeon installed in there. Dang it, I thought it was proof of voodoo medicine, or of the "if it's broke, kick it" school of appliance repair. Ah well.