Tuesday, December 30, 2003

MY LEFT-LEANING LIBERTARIAN-NESS CONFIRMED: Sort of. Witness my ideal Presidential candidates:

1. Your ideal theoretical candidate. (100%)
2. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (72%)
3. Libertarian Candidate (61%)
4. Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH - Democrat (55%)
5. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (55%)
6. Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR - Democrat (53%)
7. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (46%)
8. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (46%)
9. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol, IL - Democrat (40%)
10. Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT - Democrat (39%)
11. Gephardt, Rep. Dick, MO - Democrat (37%)
12. Bush, President George W. - Republican (28%)
13. Phillips, Howard - Constitution (21%)

My boy Dean is coming up presidential in aught-four--naysayers be damned! DOCTOR DEAN IN THE WHITE HIZZOUSE.....

Via the DVDVR.

Monday, December 29, 2003

PEYTON MANNING LOVERS CAN GET BENT: Your favorite liquored-up Canadian kicker saved the Colts' bacon yet again. Your favorite liquored-up BADASS KICKER:

Vanderjagt informed Dungy and quarterback Peyton Manning that the offense needed to get him to the Houston 25-yard line to set up the game-winner.

"Mike told me, 'Don't make it hard,' " Manning said. "I said, 'Inside the 25?' He said, 'Yeah, that would work.' "

Manning drove the Colts from their own 10-yard line to the Texans 24 with nine seconds remaining. On third down, Manning slid off left guard for a 1-yard loss to position Vanderjagt in the middle of the field.

On the sideline, Vanderjagt was anything but nervous.

"I was joking that it was the 41st kick in a row, to win a game, to win the division," he said. "I was asking if anybody on the sidelines wanted to kick it. Nobody offered, so I figured I'd do it myself."

I picture him on the sideline, idly smoking a cigarette, speaking in monosyllabic French, waiting for his time to go in.

Friday, December 26, 2003

YAO-SHAQ III: The curiously underhyped Yao-Shaq III, that is--I'm guessing LeBron has stolen all Yao's HYPE! Or else the NBA/shoe company hype machines are only capable of pushing one guy at a time. Anyhow, the Rockets won. Shaq barely won the statistical war. But, again, the hype was lacking. The Rockets have kind of fallen off the face of the nationally televised Earth this season, but with so many great NBA stories this year (New Look Lakers/Mavs/Spurs/Kings, the Nuggets, the Cavs, the freakin' Warriors, Flip Murray and the Sonics, Pacers and Pistons with new coaches--basically every team not in the Atlantic Division is a good story) I can understand the Rockets getting lost in the shuffle. I do miss the weekly "Yao Ming, in town tonight, is energizing the local Chinese community" from last season. And we probably won't get any more reports of the Miami Heat handing out fortune cookies when the Rockets are in town.

Monday, December 22, 2003

DUMB, THEN DUMBER: That's right, New York Knickerbockers. Replacing Scott Layden with Isiah Thomas is the way to go. Because of his proven track record and all. Uh-huh.