HEFNER WATCH: Evan Daze sent in this choice bit of Hefner-bashing from Nerve and I am thoroughly in his debt. It's a review of that Girl Next Door Fox reality-special dealie. Here's a sample:

So there is something a little extra pathetic about watching Hefner service his legacy. He has always worked overtime in this department, anyway, comparing himself to Capra characters, claiming he was "testing the boundaries," and generally convincing himself and others of his own profundity, even when he couldn't come up with anything better than cool-cat palaver like, "We enjoy mixing up cocktails and an hors d'oeuvre or two, putting a little mood music on the phonograph and inviting a female acquaintance for a quiet discussion of Picasso, Nietzsche, jazz, sex."

Of course, a late '90s retro cool cloud descended over the mansion, particularly after a Viagra-popping Hef went back on the loose after his 1998 divorce. The Friars Club gave him a lifetime achievement award, and the American Society of Magazine Editors inducted him into their hall of fame. It almost seemed indecorous to point out that the man's only achievements have been throwing some really swell parties, spending his entire adult life in pajamas and putting out a stroke magazine.

Picasso, Nietzsche, jazz, sex. Yes.