TWO FINE FINE DRAFT DIARIES: Simmons and SLAM. If you're coming here you've probably already read them, but they are both really great. I kind of get the feeling that Simmons is having a stylistic influence on the SLAM crew, at least for these diaries (was Simmons the first?) In sort of the way Simmons reports something, makes the jokes, and has a short concluding line--sort of the equivalent of Instapundit's indeed, if you know what I mean. Stuff like this, from Simmons:

9:33 -- Utah takes 7-foot-5 Pavel Prdzswsbqzpdne, who stands up and immediately whiffs on two high-fives. Not a good start for the Pavel Era. Katz calls it a "safe pick." Of course, the USA Today's scouting report mentioned that Pavel "takes medication for a hormonal disorder related to pituitary gland." I don't know if "safe" was the best choice of words, not after the Gheorge Muresan Era and Giant Gonzalez's wrestling career. Jacko quickly jokes, "Must improve: Genetic deficiency."

9:35 -- Stu Scott interviews Pavel and his interpreter. Just to clear things up, Pavel does understand English ... he just can't understand Stu Scott. Seriously, I'm not fronting.

9:38 -- Picking for the Blazers, the Nets take Victor Khryapa, setting off a round of "Do you know his brother, Fulla?" and "How 'bout his cousin, Tayka?" jokes. I just wish Rick Pitino had the chance to take someone named "Khryapa." It would have been like two worlds colliding.

9:41 -- Picking again, the Blazers take Sergei Monia, who platooned with Khryapa on the CSKA Moscow team in Europe. Either that's one helluva platoon, or the Blazers just screwed up twice. I'm leaning towards the latter. Meanwhile, we just learned that Monia's favorite actor is Robert DeNiro. Tough blow to Yakov Smirnoff there. A wakeup call, really.

We get this from Ryan Jones in the SLAM diary:

Pavel PodlZzkzkziniznkzkze has the biggest face I've ever seen. He's also wearing what appears to be a watch with a turquoise-colored leather band. Inexplicable.

As expected, Emeka and his apparently just-iffy-enough-to keep-him-from-going-No. 1 back goes No. 2 to the Bobcats. The chants of “YOOUUUUU-CONN!” from the Husky fans immediately behind us are relentless...and if our contact is correct, they might be even happier in a minute.

Meaning Ben Gordon. Maybe it's Ryan more than Lang showing the Simmons influence.

Anyway, me throwing up other people's draft diaries only highlights my own lack of one. Hey, got to make the grade, you know what I'm saying? But they're fun reads both. Bill is with his Dad again, only this time he's rented a suite somewhere on ESPN dollars. The SLAM guys are at the draft itself like the insiders they are. Plus they can make fun of ESPN in all the ways Simmons wishes he could. He really needs that anonymous blog, if just for the draft.

So I was thinking, maybe Orlando is picking up Jameer so they can send him to the Rockets to be their point guard, so the Stevie trade is more palatable. The Magic would keep Tyronne Lue as Stevie's backup, and the Rockets get a proven point guard who would have no problem getting it in to Yao.

Just some idle theorizing for your early morning reading. Hey, in theory, communism works, so take it for what it's worth.