SINCE THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS WE ARE FULL OF SHIT IS LAYING OFF THE HOOKER TALK: I will have to do some of my own. Presenting: the conversations that pop into your head after you find out your favorite porn star does escort work.

"Miko--hi! I'm Justin. Your two o'clock."

"Justin, hello! Please come in." Big hug. "It's so nice to meet you."

"It's really nice to meet to meet you, too."

"Just set your bag down anywhere." The bag was set down. "Would you like a drink or anything?"

"No. No thank you. This is a really nice place--the agency does a really good job, I guess."

"Oh, they really do. It's the details that make the difference, I think. Have a seat."

"Thank you. Yeah, I agree. I mean, it's supposed to be a kind of a fantasy, right? The mood is right. The lights are low--I love the candles, by the way."

"Oh--thank you. Those are mine. You should see my house."

Huge goofy smile. "Yeah, I bet, right? They're supposed to be really therapeutic."

"They are. They really add something, I think."

"Yeah," nodding head. "I never really got into them. I never--they just don't seem really masculine. Not that I'm afraid to be un-masculine, or something."

A long, still smile. "So. Justin. What are you into?"

"Into?" I look away from her for a moment. "I think, for me--you're my all time favorite porn star. I've never seen an adult star embrace as many kinds of roles as you--"

"Thank you."

"--I mean, you've really run the gamut, you know? You're a multifaceted entertainer, I think. Probably the finest Asian porn star of your generation."

"Thank you, baby." She's a porn star--she's going to call me 'baby' at some point.

"So--" --recovering-- "I think, for me, just being around you is what is going make this worth something to me. This is just--I guess I'm kind of in awe of you."

Small smile. If she was less polite, or knew me better, she would've rolled her eyes. "You don't have to be in awe of me."

"No no, it's just part of the experience for me." The punchline: "It'll be a sort of a sexual shock and awe."

She laughed. And we were off.